Change

Change
Turning Over New Leaf

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I Have No Skin in the Game


drum


Although the world might be riddled with problems from nuclear weapons to the Ebola virus, there is only one real issue upon which we can all agree - the NFL Washington Redskins name and symbol must go.

Civil Rights leaders and educational institutions have placed the Redskin name issue at the top of their “need for political correctness” list claiming that use of the name is a damaging form of ethnic stereotyping. Social Science researchers (college graduates without jobs) argue the continued use of the demeaning Redskin name and symbol by the Washington football team might affect academic performance and self-esteem among Native American students, causing unemployment and poverty. Some argue that higher rates of suicide could possibly follow. If only Custer had known. He could have given the Sioux free tickets to the game and waited on the other side of the Little Big Horn River until they tomahawked themselves into oblivion.  

I agree. All derogatory names must be eliminated. Allow me to provide some examples:

1. Whenever I watch a Chicago White Sox game, I must take a day off from work. My inferiority complex resulting from the image of a white guy stuffed into a shoe like one of Old Mother Hubbard’s kids proves to be psychologically damaging to me. I would switch to the Cleveland Indians, but I’m not sure if I will be compelled to wear a sari to the stadium, and I have no desire to dishonor Gandhi.

2. As a sports fan, I love the game of hockey. When I lived in New Hampshire, I watched every televised Boson Bruins game and when I had an opportunity, I traveled to the TD Garden to see my team play. That is, except when the Blackhawks were in town. Two of the guys in my group were African Americans. They could not enjoy the game since they felt insulted and belittled by the opposing team’s suggestion that they were bird brains due to the color of their skin. That is just not right.

3. Many sports fans love college football. However, it is very uncomfortable watching Notre Dame games every Saturday. The Fighting Irish team promotes bullying in high schools and must be defeated. I suppose it is okay if they lose to the Florida State Seminoles because that is considered an offsetting penalty. I still feel uncomfortable, however, because there is not one St. Patrick’s Casino in the entire State of Florida.

4. Does anyone care that descendants of Leif Ericson have been abused for centuries by American political incorrectness? No. Week after week they attend Minnesota Vikings games while Norwegians cower under their seats praying to Thor for a victory.

5. The Dallas Cowboys used to be America’s team. Now, the male Chauvinist pig state of Texas insists that its women stay home on Sunday afternoons to watch Dale Evans and Annie Oakley re-runs on TV while their big spurs attend the game. And that really pisses off Denver Broncos fans. Of course, Denver fans don’t complain too loudly for fear of a closer look at their franchise by PITA.

There are a million more examples and it is an awful state of affairs. We must put world concerns on hold and stop this politically incorrect trend in Washington now. Should we fail, before we know it, scalping tickets will be considered illegal.

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