Change

Change
Turning Over New Leaf

Friday, October 15, 2010

Embarrassed, But Not Hungry



Embarrassed, But Not Hungry

I suppose blogs are a great venue for tales out of school, and I am usually proud of the things I have done in life. Well, usually. Born into a huge family where women cooked and men enjoyed the fruits of their labor, even I am amazed at my present-day culinary pursuits.

Several years ago, my wife and I switched employment roles. I stayed home to write, while after completing her graduate work, she embarked on a career teaching college. Life was good – just not always what one might call smooth. The first day was particularly eventful, as some of my readers might recall from my post of October 10, 2010 entitled, A Moment in a Life. It was that very same day, close to 5:00 pm, when I realized I was starving. I wrote through breakfast and lunch, and my manuscript was beginning to look appetizing. Glancing around the house aimlessly, I never connected my idyllic existence to my spouse’s culinary talents. I’m not sure men are that quick. Women are.

As she entered our loving abode following a tension-filled day at her new position, she walked into my office in time to hear my comforting words. I think I remember them verbatim: “I’m so glad you’re home. What’s for dinner”? Now, it’s the face I cannot accurately capture in my native tongue. Her expression seemed to indicate that she wanted to nail my tongue to a board. To this day, my bride has never been what one might refer to as a bitch, but she has eyes that paralyze, like one of those kids from Village of the Damned. Now I’m not as stupid as I sound. At least I know how to play poker, which means I can read a pair of eyes. So I folded like a cheap suit. And now for the happy ending...

I enrolled in culinary school. It was a two-year program at a local school, where I learned the fine art of cooking for myself, as well as others. I actually became the first male in my family in centuries to walk erect while entering a kitchen without a voice from above bellowing, “GET OUT.” I am proud to say I am a pretty decent chef, and today I cook most of the meals in our home. Nothing is impossible when a man loves a woman, and is hungry.

18 comments:

  1. I can totally imagine that look in the eye. Good thing that you wised up quick. I applaud you for going the extra mile and taking classes to really become accomplished at the art of cooking. I probably would have just slogged my way through a cookbook hitting and missing. So, I tip my hat to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Robin: Thank you. Truth is I tried slogging. We all got sick on the grease. Then, I went to school. I left that part out so I wouldn't look like too much of a jerk.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JJ, I was inwardly cringing as I antipated your words!

    Good for you for breaking the family mold; there is also something rather sexy about a man who not only can cook, but WILL cook even when it's not a special occasion.

    Mr H. has always been a good cook but used to save himself for when we had friends over (not very often), so they would all drool and say how lucky I was. Living alone for a year cured him of that though ;-)

    JX

    ReplyDelete
  4. Juniper: Yes, drooling friends can be a problem, but I ignore it. Cooking is no longer a task. It's becoming another passion. It has also allowed me to become more appreciative.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So then, what may I ask is your WOW dish?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bruce: I make seafood pastas that are to die for!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Catherine: Yes. Without it, I would not have had the nerve to write the post.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am not a good cook... and now I am hungry and sad... ;}

    Glad you found my blog so I could find yours!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good for you, taking initiative like that! I'm sure your wife appreciates it. I think it's sexy when my husband cooks. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Invisible Seductress: I found your blog because it's great! Be happy. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Elle: She is wonderful, and so are you for your kind words. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi, Jj!
    Thanks for the comment- I'm following you too! I saw you live in St A. I'm SOOOOO jealous! I honeymooned there 2 years ago for a week and have missed it dearly ever since. Someday, maybe we'll be "neighbors" :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Brittany: St. A. is fantastic. It has everything we want in life. If you come back for a visit, look us up. I still can't believe we live here. Thanks for following!

    ReplyDelete
  14. ROTFL!!! I can see the expression on your wife' face!

    I rather clean the kitchen than cook. When I cook, it seems like I'm stuck doing the dishes, too. The last few weeks, I am fine with the latter arrangement because Andy's been working >13 hour days, six days a week. Frozen dinners are the menu for the next couple of weeks because my schedule becomes similar.

    Oh, well. Must move off sofa, soon, to get slow cooker meals pre-prepped.

    LOL THANK YOU for the laugh, and the post!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love a man who can cook! (when I say cook I mean something other then adding water/meat to boxed pasta)I'm a very good cook but I don't like cooking and just as A-M stated, I prefer cleaning up the kitchen/dishes afterwards.

    Perhaps you'll be writing a cookbook soon? :O)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Absolutely Primed: Thank you. Who knows. I have considered a cookbook. My pastas are spectacular. I am now always cooking for our friends.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.