I suppose blogs are a great venue for tales out of school, and I am usually proud of the things I have done in life. Well, usually. Born into a huge family where women cooked and men enjoyed the fruits of their labor, even I am amazed at my present-day culinary pursuits.
Several years ago, my wife and I switched employment roles. I stayed home to write, while after completing her graduate work, she embarked on a career teaching college. Life was good – just not always what one might call smooth. The first day was particularly eventful, as some of my readers might recall from my post of October 10, 2010 entitled, A Moment in a Life. It was that very same day, close to 5:00 pm, when I realized I was starving. I wrote through breakfast and lunch, and my manuscript was beginning to look appetizing. Glancing around the house aimlessly, I never connected my idyllic existence to my spouse’s culinary talents. I’m not sure men are that quick. Women are.
As she entered our loving abode following a tension-filled day at her new position, she walked into my office in time to hear my comforting words. I think I remember them verbatim: “I’m so glad you’re home. What’s for dinner”? Now, it’s the face I cannot accurately capture in my native tongue. Her expression seemed to indicate that she wanted to nail my tongue to a board. To this day, my bride has never been what one might refer to as a bitch, but she has eyes that paralyze, like one of those kids from Village of the Damned. Now I’m not as stupid as I sound. At least I know how to play poker, which means I can read a pair of eyes. So I folded like a cheap suit. And now for the happy ending...
I enrolled in culinary school. It was a two-year program at a local school, where I learned the fine art of cooking for myself, as well as others. I actually became the first male in my family in centuries to walk erect while entering a kitchen without a voice from above bellowing, “GET OUT.” I am proud to say I am a pretty decent chef, and today I cook most of the meals in our home. Nothing is impossible when a man loves a woman, and is hungry.