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Turning Over New Leaf

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Hollywood: Chock Full of New Ideas

witch


Do you remember the 1964-1972 classic supernatural sitcom, Bewitched? Well, it’s back in a new NBC TV production. The syndicated series is still extremely popular in Russia, which will have no bearing on the updated production. With the 50th anniversary of the show’s debut upcoming, some re-imaging of the cast will be necessary.

The modern version will focus on the life Daphne, Tabitha’s daughter (Samantha’s granddaughter). Of course, much has changed in two generations. I’m not certain of all the details, but if you thought Samantha used her magical powers to help Darrin with his employment problems, you should probably view the new sitcom with 2014 eyes. Here is my best guess as to the series pilot and its deep plot.

The show must be re-named WeBitched. Daphne will be a twenty-something millennial and the most beautiful girl in the world. We’re talking “inner beauty,” which means a combination of Elizabeth Montgomery and Dick York. She undoubtedly will be a free thinker, which will allow her to sponge off friends, relatives, and anyone willing to cede a handout.

In the pilot, Daphne will try to live a normal life with her soon-to-be spouse, Debbie, but her family will interfere, as families often do. It seems Debbie is an atheist who can’t figure out whether it’s the Christian or Jewish God she doesn’t believe in after studying The Egyptian Book of the Dead in an Ivy League college class she took with a former Weather Underground Wizard. Agnes Moorhead, who remains cast as Endora (because Hollywood can’t think of anyone new), will beam in and out as she casts spells upon Daphne’s lifestyle.

Fortunately, just like in real life, someone like Uncle Arthur, (previously played by Paul Lynde and now played by Vladimir Putin), will come to her rescue with a fresh idea. The plan: Drain Tabatha’s bank account under the guise of going back to school and re-locate to the Ukraine without telling the family. There, she will wiggle her nose and bring universal health care to the Ukraine. Unfortunately, her appreciative admirers will refer to her as a Czaress, at which time the highly insulted gender sensitive Daphne will return home to the open arms of her family so happy to see her they will buy her lots of things to help her with her non-materialistic vision of life.

I predict, like magic, the new sitcom will last several weeks until CBS airs The New Murphy Brown Show.

“God bless us, everyone!” Timothy Cratchit

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12 comments:

  1. HA! You could be onto something. But why not be more ambitious? How about... the all-new updated version of Our Miss Brooks? Just think of the possibilities...

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    1. Susan: Good idea, but I'm still testing my Dexter-ity.

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  2. I only knew slightly a TV series called 'Jinny' who had magic powers too - but your resumée sounds as if it will lure me away from the many crime series I have to look at (imagine - 'Vera' and 'Shetlands' - in November!) Though with a little twist in the story above you might even add crime-suspense - abracadabra..
    (PS: Is this your contribution to Halloween?)

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    1. Britta: It is not my contribution, but it could be. Hollywood is scary enough.

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  3. Hi JJ - I enjoyed Bewitched, though by the time we saw it here .. I was really too old - but it did bewitch my imagination .. we'll see re the updated one .. cheers Hilary

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    1. Hilary: Now you are stuck with Honey Boo Boo to re-kindle your imagination. No wonder they are looking backward. Cheers.

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  4. Doh! You're not serious, are you? They're not reloading this one?

    Your predictions are probably spot on. LOL!

    Unleashing the Dreamworld

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    1. Crystal: Oh yeah. It's coming back. Now I know what they mean by "waiting with baited breath."

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  5. Did you fall asleep in the sun? Walk into a sliding door? Probably not. TV land will exhume anything to get expand the audience. Are you sure Putin isn't a vampire?

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    1. Linda: Answers to your questions: Yes, yes, and no.

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  6. I grew up watching the original Bewitched with Elizabeth Montgomery and I loved it ... Why do they do that??? Can't they just leave the classics alone!

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    1. Katherine: It's been a while. It is great to hear from you. I will drop by your site today. Hope all is well.

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