Friday, October 31, 2014
Puff the Magic Dragon
Why buy your child a dragon costume for Halloween? Children must learn to be open-minded. Rumor has it that the age of reason has now been changed to three years so four-year olds might have the option to quit kindergarten and move to Colorado.
I cannot think of a better way to work at parenting than the new marijuana costume that will debut nationwide this Halloween. Don’t neglect your parental duties. Why waste time at PTA meetings when you should be hurrying down to the local high school for nighttime adult education classes covering subjects like “Rolling Weed with Tots” or “Helping Pothead Teens Memorize Miranda Warnings.”
Let’s face it. Your daughter might not be Honey Boo Boo. She might choose to star in “Cops” by age fourteen. You would feel like a terrible failure if you had to head to the police station in the middle of the night to read the charges to your illiterate seventeen-year old. We should allow our children the freedom America affords them. Help them to think on their own. Show them how to blame their friends instead of you.
I can think of no better way than the new marijuana costume for the holiday season. And as a special bonus, each parent will receive a certificate from the Environmental Protection Agency after Halloween because the green costume will safely go up in smoke – much like your child’s future.
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