As the old adage goes, “Blood is thicker than water.” However, when one is in trouble, I believe it is best to seek out a relative's open arms.

I just can’t figure out why it is always my arms that are open.

I can handle it, but I am in pain.



  1. JJ: Seems as tho u and I are going through the same/similar thing... I am getting the cold shoulder because I am not acting/performing in the same manner as how 'they' would....I'm a fixer and it seems that turns people off... In fact your quote of 'blood is thicker...' is what I was thinking about last week.. I was beginning to feel that there was something wrong w/me.

  2. Chrissy: Unless I am writing or speaking publicly, I am a man of few words. You are one of my idols. I admire strong people, but sometimes everyone just needs a break.

    My family just suffered a great trauma. It was tramatic for me too, but apparently, I am not permitted to feel.

    "And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries."

    Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel

  3. Me??? whoa.... as far as the quote about a rock feels no pain.... that is b.s..... that is almost like saying animals feel no pain, love, or sympathy!. WE all feel, tho I think some choose NOT to feel....I don't think u have read my past posts.,.My dad passed away early May and life has been hell after that.... People seem to think ( in my case) that they are the ones who are right and that I should model their behavior... I refuse to do that... The ones who look down on me have no clue as far as the history and I am not saying I am letting history rule the way I act... but I feel unless someone knows the whole history, no one has the right to put forth judgment. That is what bothers me... I know of a few people who agree w/what I am/am not doing...They are the ones who know its none of their business to make it their business...

  4. I have not read the past posts. I have been engrossed in my own similar problems, which is unusual for me. I try not to get sucked in, but I did.

    Nevertheless, I am back. I will read your May posts and focus my attention on your situation. I am on your side. I know only a little piece of your history, but in my world, you have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

    I like strong people. They make me feel secure.

  5. I say who cares what other people think really? It's too hard to please others. Who do you see in your mirror every morning? That's what's important! Someone told me a very long time ago, if you don't take care of you first, you won't be around for anyone else. From what I've seen here, you are a man who does have emotions, (not all men do, or at least they behave more like a water faucet) not the case for you JJ ...and yes you have every right to feel and say what ever your dear heart wants, and when you feel the need! I posted something very cool on FB that my sister in law sent me. I will track it down and bring here for you!

  6. This should probably be taped
    to your bathroom mirror
    where one could read it every day.
    You may not realize it,
    but it's 100% true.

    1. There are at least two people in this world
    that you would die for.

    2.. At least 15 people in this world
    love you in some way.

    3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
    is because they want to
    be just like you.

    4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
    even if they don't
    like you.

    5. Every night,
    SOMEONE thinks about you
    before they go to sleep.

    6. You mean the world to someone.

    7. You are special and unique.

    8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

    9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
    something good comes from it.

    10. When you think the world
    has turned its back on you
    take another look.

    11. Always remember the compliments you received.
    Forget about the rude remarks.

    And always remember......
    when life hands you Lemons,
    ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

    Good friends are like stars.........
    You don't always see them,
    But you know they are always there.

    "Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens
    Another, Even Though
    Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"

    I would rather have one rose and a kind word
    from a friend while I'm here
    than a whole truck load when I'm gone. (Really!)

    Happiness keeps You Sweet,
    Trials keep You Strong,
    Sorrows keep You Human,
    Failures keeps You Humble,
    Success keeps You Glowing,

    This was long, but it was worth it!

  7. Im sorry to read of your struggles JJ. But everyone has feelings that need to be addressed you included you can't always be the rock and people should except that your human and have feelings like everyone. Being strong is all well and good but you need to be allowed to grieve etc also. Or you won't be able to deal with what ever has happened and move forward. Communication is always the best tool i feel. Be honest with your feelings and the other people around you should if they have any sense of moral standing except your human to. And it should bring you closer together and help all involved deal with the situation. Sorry if i have spoken out of term. Take lots of care, hugs dee

  8. How funny, not haha funny... This makes me think of how I have been called 'cold' for the times when I am strong during the worst of things as if not falling apart is undesirable and then called 'weak' for the times when I have needed to let go of things by just putting it all out there. We are not perfect. We are all human. And in a lifetime we can go through so much. We just need to be there for each other when we can. BTW, never have I been able to trust in 'blood'. Only my friends have ever really been there for me in a meaningful way. Lean on whomever you need to in whatever way works for you. Allow yourself to feel things as you must. Otherwise the hurt only grows larger.

  9. I guess it's a whole lot easier to get a point across to online friends than family members. Oh well. Just too negative for me.

  10. @Karen: I love that long list u posted here.. The words are so true.
    @JJ: I think online folks are on the outside and can think objectively... w/relatives its way too interpersonal. Relatives for the most part are too emotional.. The rational relatives seem to be looked at as heartless (in my situation).. they expect people to do as they do regardless if its right for the person they are pointing fingers at. Remember that adage: 'point the finger and it points back at you'....guess AA was right about that line.

  11. KBF: Wow! You got that right!

  12. JJ, we are getting closer every day. Our vacay on Jekyll with two of our sons was a thing of beauty.

    I'm sad that you are going through such a difficult time, but you are a man who always bounces back.

    We hope to see you and your beautiful wife in the not-to-distant future.

  13. Judie: Let me know if you are anywhere around and maybe we can meet. I've already begun the bounce back.

  14. Hi JJ .. I do hope you can stay strong - I haven't had to deal with this .. with family around. So when I was away even for an evening .. I could adjust slightly - but there were times when I thought I'd crack - no-one seemed to realise the stress I was under - they still don't.

    It does pass .. sadly people are selfish first .. and don't think of others at all - with many thoughts and keep strong to pull through - think of yourself first particularly at the moment ..

    Cheers and to better times - Hilary

  15. Hilary: Thank you, but don't worry about me. I never give up, nor am I negative. However, it does bother me that people are unable (or unwilling) to handle their own matters.


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